


the things no one knows

by calamityrogers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Avengers Endgame, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Gen, M/M, Steve Rogers is dead, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, i honestly don't know what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 08:20:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18384590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calamityrogers/pseuds/calamityrogers
Summary: After Captain America's death, Tony Stark and James Buchanan Barnes say a few words at his funeral.





	the things no one knows

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fan-related thing i've ever posted! some of it is based on a tumblr post i found long ago and when i find it i'll add it in! i don't really know what i'm doing but i hope you guys like it and i'm gonna stop making this note now so you can enjoy. bye :)

Tony Stark stands on the podium in front of the crowd of people. They seem to stretch on past the horizon, but maybe that’s just the sun reflecting off of the billions of plastic shields and people dressed in red, white and blue playing tricks on his eyes. As he looks down to the podium where his hands are splayed over the stained wood, he realizes that maybe for the first time in his very public, very staged life, he doesn’t know how to act or what to say. There’s not really a script for this, unless you count the speech folded up in his breast pocket. He looks up. The crowd quiets in anticipation, and Tony turns back to his friends sitting on the stage beside him (he can’t help but notice the very obvious person missing). Natasha nods at him. With that, he takes a deep breath and begins.

“Steve Rogers was hands down the definition of an American hero. He was strong, brave, courageous, and selfless, although some would say that was his only flaw.” 

Tony smiles. 

“He was a leader, and that’s what people immediately think of when they hear his name. I know that we all think we know who Captain America was. We all see him as a beacon of hope, a martyr, but we’ve all kind of been brainwashed, in a way, to only see him as America’s poster boy. 

I think we’ve all forgotten that he was so much more than that.” 

Steve Rogers was a real person. He was real, and I think that’s what makes his death so hard for many of us to grasp. I think we all thought he’d live forever, because he didn’t really seem real, if that makes sense. I think most of us thought of him as eternal, or something damn close to a deity. I know I did.” Tony pauses slightly here; his hands are shaking. 

“There are things I never knew about him, and I thought that was impossible. I thought I knew everything about him from the stories my father told of him as I was growing up. I knew the basics, obviously, but actually living and working with the living legend opened up a lot of doors I didn’t even know existed, some of which I’ll now never get the opportunity to explore.” 

“We’re gathered here today to honor a man that saved billions of lives, lives from this century and the last. We’re here to remember Steve Rogers, someone who, even in death, is a better man than I will ever be.” 

“We’re here to remember the real him, not just the him most of us think we know. I want us to remember Steven Grant Rogers as the man who liked drinking chai tea while watching the sunrise over the skyline over New York City in the mornings, and the man who’d take the ferry across to Brooklyn every night just to see the lights on in Manhattan Island. I want us to remember him as the man who fell asleep on the couch at eight pm while watching Disney movies, as the man who’d   
dance around the kitchen to Ella Fitzgerald on the weekends while cooking breakfast for everyone and the man who hated wearing shoes inside.

I don’t want us to remember Captain America. I want us to remember Steve Rogers. There’s only one man I can think of that’s the most qualified to do that, so, without further ado, I present to you, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

Tony turns away and meets Bucky’s hug with open arms. He never thought it’d be this hard to address audiences without the slightly overpowering presence of Steve sitting beside him, but it is. Harder than he wants it to be. Bucky takes his place at the podium after Tony pulls away and begins talking almost immediately with a kind of enthusiasm no one was really expecting.

“Whenever I hear people talk about Captain America there’s a part a’ me that always wants to laugh. I wanna ask ‘em if they’re talkin’ about Steve Rogers, ‘cause to me, he’ll always be that skinny Irish kid from Brooklyn that just couldn’t stay away from trouble, and hearin’ him be described as anythin’ other than dumb and reckless will never make sense to me. I mean, I’ve heard a lot o’ people describe him as a perfect role model for kids, and I just…I have to tell myself that surely they’re not talkin’ about my Steve Rogers, the same Steve Rogers that stole cigarettes from me ‘cause he didn’t like the taste of the ones the doctors prescribed for his asthma. I can’t think of anyone worse for your children to look up to.” 

The crowd in front of him laughs, and he smiles with them. It feels good to be able to talk about Steve like this, although there’s a part of him that misses the way Steve would interrupt to try and make himself look better, but only slightly. 

“But seriously, I think all of us can agree that Steve Rogers was a good man. The thing about Steve is that you gotta understand that he was a helluva intense kind o’ guy. He was one o’ the stubbornest people I have ever met, and although it was frustratin’ at times, it wasn’t all bad. Most of you probably believe that Steve’s determination only applies when it comes to saving as many people as he can (not includin’ himself, obviously, and I’ll always hate him for it), but everythin’ he did he did with every ounce of his being. If he said he was goin’ to do something, he’d stop at nothin’ to get it done, doesn’t matter if it was finishin’ a painting in one night, or buyin’ everything on his mother’s grocery list.”

Bucky pauses. “I think that’s the thing I have and will always admire about him most. He never seemed afraid of doing anythin’, even though he knew people would run their mouths. I guess he just didn’t care what people thought about him as long as others were safe. He was unapologetically himself, and it was fun to watch people react to that. Just imagine this tiny “starvin’ artist” from the ’30s walkin’ around, yellin’ about socialism and just doing whatever the fuck he wanted to, really. It’s fun watching you react to it even now, ‘cause as Tony said, no one knows everythin’ about the real Steve Rogers, not even me, but I can tell you what I do know:”

“He grew up in Brooklyn after the first World War, in a tenement slum. His family was Irish immigrants, looking for a better life in America, but it was harder than they thought it’d be. His dad joined the army and left him and his ma at home with rats, lice, bedbugs, and one shared bathroom per floor with one bucket o’ water to flush. They were poor, and it was hard for his ma to get a job. No one wanted immigrant scum working for them in the ’20s, but she finally found a job washin’ clothes for the hospital. Earned a few cents for a load ‘til she moved up to a nurse. The families on his block were also misfits, outcasts, and immigrants. Just like him.” 

He laughs a little before carrying on. 

“There was lots of fighting everywhere. People were brutal, the kids maybe even more so. I remember the block fights we used to have. Us kids would gang up and beat the crap out of each other in the name o’ ethnic violence. My favorite story of Steve is probably the time Steve and I made friends with some o’ the other families in our area an’ we were all pretty close then, but some all wet greaseballs from the better parts ‘a town beat our friend up pretty bad one afternoon, so Steve tore a post out of a fence and used it on the kid that started it. Smacked him in the head with the nails. They ran off, but Dox was knocked out and bleeding. Steve dragged him to his mom to see what she could do. Dox spent a week in the hospital and Steve went to visit him three times a day every day, no kidding.”

“Steve Rogers was the type of person that felt responsible for everyone. He’d always try his hardest to take care of everyone he knew, and he’d hate himself if he failed. He was the type of person that would break his hands tryin’ to carry the weight of everyone else’s problems. He was strong, brave, courageous, selfless, reliable, compassionate, determined, stubborn, clever, talented and a leader. He was my best friend and-…and I wish I coulda said “I love you” one last time.”

Bucky pauses. The crowd is quiet. For the first time since Steve’s death, Bucky realizes that Steve really is gone. A part of him didn’t believe it when Steve told him it was the end of the line before he-

there’s a fire, and someone’s hands shaking, and-

the shield, why is it-

steve? where’s steve?

oh god, no, not this, anything but this-

it’s the end of the line

but he realizes that he’s probably never going to see that cocky smile, or feel the callouses of Steve’s hands under his thumb, or hear Steve singing horribly off-key in the shower, or-

No. He’s not going to think about it. He takes a deep breath and continues.

“Even though he’s gone, his legacy remains. He will continue to be a beacon of hope for all of us, even though he’s not here to prove it. They say heroes always get remembered, and legends never die, but Steven Grant Rogers is both. He’s not gone, not really, because he will always be alive in our hearts, and our minds, and our history. As long as someone remembers that he was real and that he lived, he will live on. I can only have faith that we’ll meet again, just like we’ve done before.”

The End


End file.
